High Anxiety - tale of woe

Have you ever had an anxiety or panic attack?? No? Well be glad. They can come from nowhere. You can be standing in line at Winners, and all of a sudden you feel dizzy, like you're about to faint, you need water and you have to get out of the store NOW! Or you're driving along, a route you always take, you stop at a light and BAM! all of a sudden you are overwhelmed, you feel trapped. you have to get out of the car, or damn traffic move! panic!!!!

I've realized that these little episodes i've had over the past year have now become a bit of a problem. I avoid that usual route to work, bridges are a bit of an ordeal. i avoid shopping and supermarkets. But in a few short days, I board a plane, the doors will close and I will be in that plane for 15 hours and god help me. I've been working hard for the whole past 2- 3 weeks to try to overcome this new "fear" I have developed - perhaps I should have started earlier? Forcing myself to take that route, drive over that bridge, get to that supermarket all in hopes that that panic feel will hit and i can use the methods i've read to overcome this. I've been googleing all kinds of anxiety sites, fear of flying sites, anything to help me overcome this.
This will be my third time heading to Sydney, and although i had those moments of claustrophobia, I always managed to make it through that flight. So what's my problem you ask? Well basically it's the fear that i may have one of these panic/anxiety attacks on the plane! But i can't worry about something I can't control. If you can't control it, why worry, right? Easier said then done. And there's "live in the present". sigh.

I can only hope that my mind will go "click" and that flight or fight response that seems to have been switched on high for the past 3 weeks will finally turn off!!! Bottom line, I create the anxiety and I'm the only one who can do something about it.

thanks for reading. I hope that my vacation will bring to life a more positive bee bitter, so i can post some amusing tales! thanks for all the support. the picture is of PUffy, the puffer fish from the aquarium.

bitter has returned!

I think I have finally found something to be truly bitter about. My health or my current poor health. What's the saying, if you don't have you're health,blah blah blah. So totally true. Just to be bitter I'm going to blame it on work. Yes, I know it can be a number of factors but I'm going to say work and I can trace it back.

It started back in late June 2008. What seemed like a minor bump to the side of my head, turned into months of misery, well with a few good concerts thrown in. I bumped into a pipe, plumbing type that for some reason some dumbass felt it would add some interest to the office in the form of a clothes rack hanging down from the ceiling. Perhaps not put it at eye level especially when most of the losers working there are my height or shorter. Like I said, the bump seemed fairly harmless except later in the day I started feeling nauseous. I ended up missing the next day at work, but only the one day. It was a busy time so I had alot of work. But the feeling that my head was in vice continued for almost 2 months. So basically those beautiful summer months of July and August were spent in doors, mainly from lack of energy, not wanting to cause any further injury, shunning any fun. I did nothing really, no roller blading, fireworks, outings, except for a concert or two I had to go to. I call 2008 my 80's revival /hasbeen year of concerts.
I started feeling better but by october I was hit with panic attacks. I had no idea what was going on - why was this happening. The first happened when I was in line at a Winners store. It happened while I was driving to work and stuck it traffic - so bad I almost wanted to drive off the road on to the sidewalk just to get out of the situation. They still continue today but I have learned to control that urge to escape sort of. But a month ago I bumped my head again. Again did not think much of it, bumped it on the freezer door. But the next day I felt awful and ended up taking 3 days off work. Slowly I started feeling better, and was able to get in some slow walks. I used to be such a fast walker, now i'm lucky if I'm going faster than a mile an hour. But last Thursday the started fixing the roof at work. 8 hours of banging, scraping, horrible, like having a bowing alley on top of my head. I started feeling nauseous again. So I took Friday off and sat at home trying not to vomit. Did the same yesterday too. And here I sit today, trying not to feel sorry for myself that I've missed another beautiful fall day sitting at home trying not to be bitter and trying to get over this awful feeling.

In the words of Yoda, BITTER, I AM!

But I hope my health returns and that I'm up and about again enjoying both sunshine and rain! I'll take anything now just to have a day when I feel like myself again, which well would be bitter.

To Queen Bee or Not To Queen Bee, that is the question

Yesterday, I escaped the doldrums of my office for an hour and had lunch with my extremely, just walked off the cover of GQ, well dressed and fashionable friend Justin. It was a belated birthday lunch for him. "Belated" birthday is quite right. You see, Justin, who is only a year or two older than me, appears younger and younger every time I see him. It's more than just, what's your secret- Oil of Olay, kind of thing. It's more like he's held off aging, time for that matter, made a pact with someone or something, to stay young forever... sort of like Dorian Grey. How fitting that there is a new version of the classic Oscar Wilde story coming to theatres soon, starring the delicious Colin Firth, who by the way is not portraying Dorian, and well, I digress, again. But, I believe now I should mention Colin First in all my future blogs.
Seriously, I think Justin has a portrait of himself somewhere in his immaculate downtown condo, perhaps concealed behind the murphy bed (?), that is slowly aging while the real life Justin remains youthful. He is walking perfection every time. I always feel like a frumpy old lady when I see him. So I try not to stand too close! But perhaps I should and some of that anti aging, look fabulousness may rub off on me. Or maybe I should just paint myself a self portrait. I actually do have a self portrait drawing in my storage locker... hmm, doesn't seem to be working but perhaps I should check out the drawing to see how it's fairing.

But on to my other rant. Today I am ranting not only for myself but for Justin too. With his birthday just past, he too felt the bitter sting of no one at work remembering or acknowledging his birthday. A coworker of mine who is currently on maternity leave, came by the office just to help celebrate my birthday a few months back- very sweet of her. But no one in the office acknowledged it, probably because no one else knew. I know, I can't complain if no one else knew. But the fact is the celebration of birthdays was outlawed at my office the year before I started working there. A cause for celebration at the office is not the proper place and people were having too much fun and using up 15 minutes of the work day not working but having fun, god forbid, which he apparently did. NO birthday cake for you! I guess this was the same time they decided we are only to listen to the radio at the lowest sound level, a level only dogs could hear, and only if it's the worst radio station too.
Anyway, Justin's boss, whom he has worked for several years, chooses not to acknowledge his birthday, nor anyone's for that matter. Is this an office trend? She did give him a birthday "hug" though. Still, more than what I got but really, wtf? Justin is very generous and thoughtful. He showers his coworkers and his boss on their birthdays with cards, pots of orchids and gifts just to say, hey, I care about you and I'm glad to have you in my life. What's wrong with a little appreciation in the work place so that the worker bees or drones can feel like the queen bee for 15 minutes on their day??? I don't know alot about the social bee society but I do know the workers and drones only live to service their queen. I don't want to be a worker bee for the rest of my life!
We complained how our workplaces don't put enough value into their workers. We were depreciating rather than being appreciated. Oddly, on the day I decided to take Justin out for lunch, I turned down lunch with my co-workers. This was the one day, with the exception of a few (that would be me and one other) the entire office and even the "queen bee" decided to go for dim sum, and guess what? The Queen Bee paid. After just complaining with Justin about the lack of apprciation the worker bees get, how undervalued we are, this happens. But I value spending quality time with someone I want to spend time with rather than spend 2 uncomortable hours with people I don't even like spending my working hours with. And one lunch, once a year, free or not does not a happy worker bee make. It should be a continuous process, don't you agree? How about bbq days, an expresso machine in the lunch room or better yet a raise!?

That's the way the world of the hard working worker bee turns. One day we shall all be Queen Bee. But what am I complaining about? I drafted this blog while I was at work! That was my "free" lunch.

rainy day blues

It's raining outside. I knew it was going to rain this weekend and I planned to spend some of the time to finally purge and clean up my messy bedroom. Well instead, I've done anything, anything but. Including checking out my new favorite website. www.peopleofwalmart.com. It's people watching but in the comfort of your own home. Only in the good old USof A could you find some of the peeps you find on this site. Please, I beg of you, please check this site out.

Last Saturday I was with my best peeps, Flo Beep, at the PNE. We try to go every year and this time around we managed to get everything in that we wanted to see and do- all in 6 hours. Yikes, way too long. But the PNE is a larger scale walmart- I should have taken pics just so I can do a onetime blog of "People of the PNE".
First things first, the most import meal of the day... THOSE LITTLE DONUTS! (last picture from the top) Yummy, mini donuts. I picked up 2 bags for 5 bucks, but sadly, forgot a bag at the arena where the Celtic Dance group did their gig, or jig. After that we walked around and as usual, we passed the stands that sell hot tubs. I always wonder, why would anyone make such a major purchase at the PNE??? And why hot tubs? Why not say, a bathtub? It's just so random. Sort of like the food stand that sold roasted potatoes or roasted corn or a roasted turkey leg, your choice. Let's see, we'll have ourselves a food stand at this here PNE, yeah, and we'll roast them ar potataes, right? Everyone loves potataes! But wait, why limit ourselves to them thar potataes?? How about roastem' corn!? Now you're cookin!! But JimBobbyloo, we got us selves some here turkey legs we can roast 'em up too!! Damn, now ur a cookin, I meana roastin' there Jimmybubbaloo! Turkey Legs! NOT Chicken but T-E-R-K-E-E legs!! (third pic from the top)

Sorry about that. I couldn't resist. After we found ourselves a smokie/sausage in a bun we headed over to the pig races.... maybe not the best idea, eating sausage whilst watching the poor little piggies race around the track for a mini donut. The man who usually heads up the show doesn't seem to be doing it anymore. His replacement, well seemed rather pervy and I don't think he should be around little children, children that make up a huge percentage of the audience, nor should he be near the pigs! ( 4th pic from top) He brought out four members from the audience, 3 kids, and 1 woman at least of legal age to assist with rallyin up the crowds during the races. And when he talked to each of them to find out where they were from, their names, he asked each of them if they could squeal, squeal like a pig. Honestly, I had a picture of Ned Beatty and the hillbillies from the movie Deliverance in my head- squeal like a pig!! The new guy was creepy, eww pervy and made the whole innocent enjoyment of the pig races, well rather grim for me.

Moooving on, we had a quick look through the barn yard at the different cute animals. City folk, we don't see cows unless it ends up on our plates- sad but true! Next up, the Superdogs! (pic top left) I love the superdog show!! All those funny dogs racing around the obstacle course! Funny dogs! What more can you ask for? After that we cut thru the line up to view the PNE prize home by using the VIP pass my sister gave us. Beautiful home.
We decided to forgo the musical act that night, Barney Bentall and Chilliwack, but we did hear them, off in the distance... Last but not least, the showmart, where I managed to not spend a dime! Hurray! No useless slicer dicer for me, or mop, or nail magic, flat iron, fudge, steamer, mixer, pillow, hair bumpit for me! Every dime I had was spent on admission and food - I had one smokie, one drink, and 2 bags of donuts - all for $20... rip (c)off.
Another exciting(?) day at the PNE, until next year. But best of all got to hang out with the BFF, having an exhausting day that has almost become ritual with us.

We parked the car at Flo's parents home which is still in the hood. So I've posted a pic,(pic top right) with her permission of this amazing animal bush her parents have in the back yard, that I've watched morph over the years. Is it a bunny???? funny.

Well, that's all for now- have to get back to the scary mess that awaits me upstairs. But really, it's not going anywhere? There are things to see and do still! The PNE ends tomorrow most likely on a rainy note. And yikes, kids back to school on Tuesday which means, a long commute to work for me. BTW, the Chinatown Night Market ends tonight too! Hey, I think I should go check it out and leave the cleaning for a rainier day.

Oh summer, where have you gone??

too much information

There is an enclosed stairwell that leads into my home parking garage. It serves several purposes. 1) it keeps out, hopefully, the unwanted losers wanting to break into your car 2) it slows me down as I try to get to my car 3) it is home to too many creepy spiders and their unfortunate victims.
Littered along the sides where the ground meets the wall lie the carcasses of many a dead fly, beetle and other unfortunate insects that mistakenly take the covered darkness as a safe haven. There are lots of those slow moving, oval shaped grayish bugs that don't really serve a purpose other than to live and die a gruesome death by an evil spider.
Anyhoo, this morning I opened the door leading to the stairwell, careful to not touch the door frame so as not to disrupt any spider that may be precariously hanging around, and navigated the 9 steps down to the next door. And that's when I saw it. The creepy spider about 1 1/2" in length, one fo those brown hairy ones that I grew up being terrified of, yet oddly fascinated by, huddled in the corner of the wall, a little too close to the door handle. Oh, he thought he was clever, trying to blend into the cement wall, all quiet and still. But I saw him. I knew he was there just as sure as he knew I was there. I should really carry Raid with me for such an occasion, and I could have killed the sucker in one blast. But spiders, even big creepy ones serve a purpose, right? Unlike slugs. What purpose do they serve? Well, they keep the manufacturers of Slug Bait and Sluggy Be-Gone in business. There's no such thing as Sluggy Be-gone, I just made it up. I think it would make a good children's book title. Forget about the actual story, the title has to be great. The Adventures of Sluggy, Sluggy Come Home, Sluggy and the Philosophers Stone.
Spiders are interesting beings. Have you ever sort of caught sight of one racing along the floor or wall but once you see it, it knows you've seen it, and it just stops. Funny thing is when I see a spider, it stops me in my tracks too - fear sets in. Maybe that's the same for the spider- fear. It's like it knows you saw it but thinks, well maybe if I stop moving, she wont' see me anymore. But I do, spider, and so much better because you're still and so much easier to kill! It's like they have a 6th sense, or maybe I have some telepathic connection with spiders. Probably because as a baby I was left in the basement because I cried too much. That's another story for another day. : (

I HATE SPIDERS, but like I said I'm oddly fascinated by them. As a child I would capture them in jars and watch what they do. In all honesty, I don't think they survived the torture, or maybe they just didn't get enough air. There was a particular one that dwelled in our bathroom window. It was one of the old school windows that had rope pulleys so the window could slide up and down, but the rope was long gone. This spider lived in the now vacant hole at the top side of the window. I would see it daily. Hanging around, waiting for it's next victim... until it became my victim (insert evil laugh here). How to catch it? It wasn't easy;took several attempts. Even slightly touching the cob web sent the spider scurrying for his cave. Aha moment! Make it impossilbe for it to get back to his cave... genius. Patience. Just like a spider. I caught him in a jar. If I remember correctly, he was an unusual find, black with yellow stripes,thus my fascination and it was so much more interesting than the typical hairy brown creepy ones usually inhabiting the house. I would make attempts at feeding it, but I don't think dead flies cut it. One day the jar and new spider were gone. I think one of my sisters, thinking the poor thing was dead, tossed the jar and it out.
Another childhood memory was finding a web with a spider egg that just hatched! All these baby, orange coloured spiders spilling out of the egg. EWWW , but COOL! Writing about this does give me the shivers, remembering how they looked... all of a sudden I feel like there are creepy crawlies all over my body! yikes!

My days of being fascinated with spiders has ended, sort of. I do admit, if I see a spider creating its orb web, I will stop for a moment and watch it weave its magic.
These days I try to catch and release. My sister bought me a spider catcher. The picture above shows it. It's a contraption that, well captures spiders alive so you can let it go outside so it can live and scare another day. I thought she was crazy buying this for me, but I'm so glad I have one! I guess it's my way of making up for all those poor spiders I seperated from their buddies and loved ones. Karma. I don't want to come back as a spider that becomes the unwilling victim of a child with too much wonderment.

As I read over what I've written above, I realize, dear reader, how mental I sound.
PS - The spider I saw this morning was left to live... for now.

the grass is always greener

So, I admit to watching too much tv. It's not a crime, yet. TLC used to stand for The Learning Channel. But nowadays, what do you actually learn on that station?? Well, if you have some odd deformity, have way too many children, can't dress worth crap, or are short, own a tattoo parlour, you too can have you're own reality tv show! Where do they find these people? Do they hold auditions, with the only requirement being if you are oddly fascinating, we'll sign you up and btw where do I sign up? But what I'm really referring to are some other shows TLC airs 1 offs. Like The 1000lb man, The Tree Man, The Half Woman. I've watched them all. And the one thing I noticed about each of these titled characters is that these people have 1 thing in common, okay 2 things. What is it you ask??
All of them, married, and by the way, not to each other. Each of them has found someone to love them, just as they are (in the words of Mark Darcy , as portrayed by the delicious Colin Firth in the movie Bridgette Jones's Diary)

Now I'm not saying that people who are viewed to have a disability can't or shouldn't get married but hey, I don't weigh a 1000lbs, nor do I have warts all over my body which cause my limbs to look like tree branches, but I do have a body, a whole one with no missing parts or un necessary bits, well except for my gut, but I'm working on it, okay! But the point is, I can't even get a date.

Which brings me to this. Peter Pan man got married. He could get married. This is a man who has a website he created, devoted to himself where he posts pics of himself dressed as Peter Pan. This is his website about his wedding to Princess Dorothy. pixyland.org/peterpan/OurWedding1.html. He could get married. He found someone to love him, just as he is.
All was well in the world when I knew I wasn't alone in the "being over 40 and never married barrel"that I shared with Peter Pan dude but now, sadly, I only share it with Jennifer Aniston, and not even because at least she was married once, to one of the hottest celebs ever and she couldn't even keep him! How am I, mere mortal that I am ever going to get a man , if hot jennifer, look at me I'm 40 and fab, and happy can't even keep a guy????

Even all my back up boyfriends are all married. I think the boat has left the harbour and has set sail without me!

Anyways, just saying!!!

Hmm, just finishing watching the finale of the Bachelorette . I swore I was never going to waste time watching this show again, but I only watched because the bachelorette is from Vancouver, and once again got sucked in. This is how strange the show has gotten the past few series. A few bachelors ago, I think the guy, Brad? didn't choose either girl at the end. Then after that, the one of those girls Deanna, became the bachelorette. She ended up picking some loser skater dude and breaking the heart of second runner up Jason dude, who then became the next bachelor. He in turn picked Melissa at the end but decided at the "after the final rose ceremony" to dump her ass and picked up with Molly, 2nd runner up, instead. Which leads to Jillian who was Jason's 3rd runner up. Still with me? I did not watch any of those series, honestly, only the recent one, and the last episode or of Jason's run, who by the way, total loser. Anyhoo, Jillian ended up choosing Ed, plain old boring, short green short shorts, Ed. She did have some pretty decent guys at the very end, who all wanted to marry her! YEah, I think this one's gonna work out, really! The most exciting rose ceremony ever! On to Dating in the Dark... hahahaha.

My bitter heart!

if you can't stand the heat...

Get out of the kitchen. I'm actually in the kitchen, staying away from the sun and trying to remain cool. I love the sun but lately, I can't handle the heat! It's supposed to get up to 30 degrees this week, which means my un-air conditioned workplace will be around 40 degrees. help! Also, I'm feeling very lazy... and sleepy...

So, what's new? I've been told by a few that I haven't been very bitter lately on this blog, and told by another that, yes indeed, I am bitter!! What to do? If you notice though, my blog is entitled, BeeBitter, rants, raves, tales of woe and funny things, topics I feel I have covered.

Am I currently in a bitter state?? hmmm.... not really. My sister is watching a real bad made for tv movie. I myself wasted 2 hours last week watching what had to be the worst made for tv movie ever, i think called the HOuse Next Door, but I think this one, I believe called All Around the Town, is worse, if that's even possible. The one I watched last week starred Laura Flynn Boyle, and that Zack guy from Saved by the Bell. That alone should have been a sign for me to just turn the station, nothing to see here, move along.
I did in fact see Laura Flynn Boyle for reals, about 9 years ago. This was when I worked at WCA (wacked- out, crazy ville, and a-holes, I mean West Coast Apparel), which was on the outskirts of skid row, a nice seedy area where seeing hookers plying their goods out on the stroll at lunch time was not uncommon. Anyhoo, I was with a co-worker and we were headed to Hastings St. to catch the bus home. I saw up ahead a woman with the thinnest legs I've ever seen, and again, not uncommom for there are plenty of crack hos who look like that in the downtown eastside. As we got closer to the woman, who's thighs were the size of my forearms, I looked up and noticed it was LFB. This was at the height of her herioin chic look and before she did something weird with her lips.
Back to the movie. I knew I should have just stopped watching, but you kinda watch, try to see if it gets interesting and before you know it, an hour has gone by, and you've already wasted it so you figure, what's another hour, so you're forced to watch to the bitter end. Okay, I think I got my bitter back!

Did watch part of Raiders of the Lost Ark today. I haven't seen it in years. One of my all time favorite movies that I must have watched over 20 times, back when Harrison Ford wasn't a grandpa and looked majorly hot. Forgot how hot he looked... now I must admit, he's looking around 55 instead of his actual, wow, 67 years!

Shout out to my peeps "CHELEN", who were married yesterday! Congratulations!

Gotta go waste some time doing something else, like melt from heat stroke.

freebies and the japadog

It's sunny and beautiful outside and I am sitting in front of the computer writing this! I love sun, but lately I've been shunning it, especially between the hours of 10 am to 2. What's wrong with me? I haven't even been down to the beach, to beach myself and do some reading! Perhaps the urge to burn my skin will return in August.
Until then, not much else happening in this life of mine. Still lazy,
Okay, one point of interest. Last saturday I got a parking ticket. I was headed back to the car and that's when I saw the meter person. Damn! She just got me! So i plunked another quarter in and headed back to the store a friend was in trying some clothes on. Meter person happened to be in the store and I told her what had happened. She said that I could call a number on the back of the ticket and tell the rep that she said I could get a courtesy cancelation. It's a one time deal on the plate of your car. So, tip to all you 3 readers out there if you get a parking ticket. But don't go telling everyone,heh heh.
In other news, each week Starbucks has a pick of the week card of 1 song you can download free from Itunes. If I'm in a Starbucks, which sadly is more common than not, even though I'm trying to boycott them, I pick up a card. A new one is available each Tuesday. I feel it's my one way of getting something back from them for spending too much money there. Well it's kind of and really I'm not getting it from Starbucks but from Itunes, but free is good!
Oh, I finally tried a Japadog! For those not in the know, it's a Japanese hotdog that is over priced, but damn good!
The one I tried was $6.75 - I don't know, is that alot for a hotdog?? It had a mayonnaise type dressing, some sort of teriyaki like dressing and seaweed on top. I know it sounds kinda grim but it was delicious! There are freestanding locacations at Burrard and Smithe(picture above), Burrard and Pender and the newest location is at Coal Harbour community centre. I was down there a few weeks ago walking around and noticed the stand with no line up! Usually there is a huge line up so I've never tried one until I came upon their newest location. I swear, they'd make a killing if they'd open up a stand in the area I work in.
That's all for now. No real bitter news except the usual complaints- I'm fat, I hate my job, etc. Oh, I've also included a picture of my gnomes - all but one. I think the outdoor gnomes are jealous of the indoor ones, and the indoor ones are envious of the outdoor ones. I really do need to get a life.

random thoughts

Wow. Can't believe MJ passed away. Yes, he was wacko Jacko, but , i don't know, very tragic in a way. Just how strange his life was for the past few years, how sad.
sort of like when Princess Di passed away. way too young. known internationally. like when elvis died, or john lennon. legends...


my heads in a tizzy because i can't focus. it comes and goes. thus random thoughts.

i bought a book called "what colour is your parachute 2008", a practical manual for job hunters and career changers. I've read portions of different editions over the past 15 years, but still have not completed it. figure with my own copy, i may finally do that. except i've got about 10 other books before this one that are waiting to be read. plus i just ordered a few more from amazon. i'm just getting over my i don't feeling like reading mode after about 6 months.

feeling kinda down... so looking forward to the weekend!

i need to wear a helmut

I bumped my head, again. This time I was trying to move something from inside the closet that was preventing it from closing and bang, bang. the door hits me on the right side of my head and my head hits the side of the closet. I think the universe is trying to tell me that I should no longer run, and pick up a different form of exercise, or at least one that requires me to wear a helmut. Running will just cause my head to rattle around more, and my brain will fall out.
I think I should just wear a helmut anyway. Maybe I should design one that is fashionable and looks like a regular hat so people won't think I belong in an institution. I once saw a man down on Main st. who wore a helmut covered in tin foil. See, I'm beginning to ramble about strange things again and sound completely incoherent.
Hopefully I'll survive the night to write another day.
: )
peace out peeps!

Don't mime me, but...

I left the house for work yesterday and realized that I looked like a mime. All I needed was a beret and a red scarf tied around my neck. I don't mind mimes, I see no purpose for them, but I prefer them to clowns. Clowns are evil incarnate. The picture shows my great imitation of a mimm. Perhaps I should have gone to Paris to learn mime... I'm either pulling a rope or digging a grave.

I also realized that I have now made my self un- anonymous when I posted a picture last week of myself with the ugly chicken. I should have blocked out my face with that black line, the one they put across peoples faces in magazines when you're identified as a "DON'T". That is on my list of things I want to do with my life. To get those 15 minutes of fame by being a "DON'T" in Glamour magazine. One day...
The mim picture was taking just before I banged up my toe. I'm now limping about and unable to continue my walk/run program I'd only started last week! It's all my sister's fault for leaving a bunch of boxes around that I had to keep stepping around, which led me to bang my right foot against the wall, not once but twice. My 4th toe on my right foot is currently a lovely shade of purple. I would like to also add, that when I last left something that blocked the path to the kitchen, and my sister tripped and fell, hurt her knee and yelled at me til she was blue in the face, that I in fact did not yell at her. Instead, I've been making her feeling guilty and she has been trying to make up for her horrible act of cruelty by being her usually over-nice self. Can I get you some tea? Do you want the ice pack for your foot? Let me re-arrange the pillows so you're more comfortable while you watch your favorite movie. Let me drive to McDonald's to pick you up an ice cream.... heh heh. Things you learn as a youngest child.

Hat's Off Day and a new cause

At 10am yesterday, like thousands of other Canadians I imagine, I logged onto the Olympic site to try to get tickets to the men's ice hockey gold medal game. And I'm sure, like thousands of Canadians, I instead waited in the "virtual waiting room", watching the screen refresh itself every 30 seconds. After 45 minutes, I thought screw this! I'm going to watch the Hat's Off Day Parade! My mom as I had mentioned in an earlier post, never objects when I suggest heading over to help celebrate the day - browsing, eating and spending money on nothing in particular. It is afterall just across the street. Hat's Off Day has been an annual event every June in the Burnaby Heights neighborhood I live in. Basically, Hastings Street, from Alpha Street to Boundary road is blocked off to traffic from about 8am to just after 2pm. I've only been going for the past few years as it is so close by. Before that, when I lived a whole 4 blocks away, I couldn't be bothered.
The parade starts at 9 am, but I didn't get out there until just before 11am - (pic with ship float). All kinds of, well not the most exciting floats or displays of local businesses, groups, causes and some, I just don't know what they are. But a great time for all. And there are thousands of people lining Hastings Street. After the parade is done, all the spectators flood the streets - (pic of crowd and yellow centre line). It's not everyday you can walk on the actual street!
The search begins to find the shortest lineup for some food! Amazingly there was no line up for the chicken souvlaki stand (perhaps not a good sign?) Nevertheless, I ate it anyway, although one piece of chicken looked undercooked to which my mom insisted it was fine and was dark meat and always looks like that. Mom's know, right?? So we walked down the street toward Willingdon, stopping here and there, my feeling sorry for the businesses that weren't getting as much attention as others ( that's one of my things, I feel sorry for businesses that don't seem to thrive) and even one band that had no one watching them at all!
A Barbershop Quartet! (pic with the chicken!! haha) Not something you see everyday! So we stopped and had a listen. Heading back towards Boundary, the classic cars were on display - (pic of the chicken - haha again) Quick, call dad and tell him to high tale it over here to check out the cars. Dad loves cars.
What about that ugly chicken you ask? The ugly chicken is not the one wearing the blue sweater, haha, that's me and I was unable to crop my gut out without cutting off what it said on the ugly chicken's t-shirt. I saw the chicken during the parade. I thought, man that's an ugly chicken mascot!!! What's he doing here, what does he represent? He made the Church's Chicken chicken look appetizing. The ugly chicken barely had any feathers, just broken tuffs as it it were plucked. And it's beak, the poor things beak was cut off at the tip! None of this stopped me from laughing hysterically, tears pouring out of my eyes because it was such a sad, ugly chicken! My mom looked at me as if I'd finally lost it. The gal walking with the chicken handed out a brochure that I didn't read until I got home.
Well it turns out the ugly chicken was intentionally ugly and debeaked for a reason. He or should I say she represents all the egg laying hens and the horrible conditions they are placed in in order to provide us with eggs!
The brochure in part reads " Egg-laying(battery) hens are imprisoned for life in battery cages. These wire cages are so small that the hens' cannot flap their wings ... an avg. of 16,000 birds are kept in sheds on "factory farms". ...the hens' natural behaviour such as walking , wing flapping and scratching on the ground are rendered impossible. out of frustration , the hens' will peck each others feathers out... to prevent this, they are debeaked.." The brochure recommends
A) don't buy battery eggs - choose certified organic . if the label does not say certified organic, there are no guarantee the eggs are from hens who are not caged.
B) watch out for misleading labels- egg carton labeling is extremely confusing, with misleading terms such as farm fresh, natural, vegetarian feed, and Omega 3. all of these eggs are from caged hens.
C) don't eat eggs at all. transport and slaughter conditions are cruel and are the same for all hens in Canada, whether caged of not. There are lost of egg alternatives, such ad ENER-G egg replacer ( i did not know this)

I don't think i'll stop buying eggs but i'll be sure to look for certified organic, free-range or free run eggs - these labels mean the hens were not in cages. Thanks for reading this. for more info - www.chickenout.ca

On another note, i didn't feel to great yesterday afternoon! I think because of the chicken I ate. The irony in this has not been lost on me. Feeling better today.

the normal one

I was just skyping with my sister who lives in Tauraunga, New Zealand. It's always nice to chat with her, and I do admit to missing her. I have 3 sisters, all crazy in their own way and I will admit I have my own brand of crazy too. The NZ sister's brand of crazy is her incense burning, astrology studying, reiki something or the other, always showing me her mini buddha statue while we're skyping, kind of crazy.
As some of you may know, I have an ongoing battle with my gut, which has become it's own entity. It seems to be winning the battle. Please do not post comments on how I can finally rid myself of said gut as I already know how I should do it. (CUT it off). Anyhoo, said NZ sister offered to send me some healing Reiki via the muk muk doll I sent her. Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently Reiki is universal healing energy. Perhaps we can use it to save the planet instead? Muk muk will represent me apparently when she does said reiki, and she likes to use the muk muk doll, while doing long distance healing because it fits her hands. okay...
I know what you're thinking, but don't get me wrong. I do want her to send me this universal healing energy. Perhaps it'll reach my muk muk doll (posted above) and when I look at it, I'll feel a jolt of that universal healing energy heading right to my tummy so it'll finally die!
I don't think I need to say anymore.

keeping up with the Jonesessess

I have a circle of friends whom I meet with every so often for dinner. This group is made up of former co-workers all from a place, a place called HELL! Sorry, heh heh, I had to write that. Actually we all worked at the same company, a clothing manufacturer, in various worker bee positions. The world of fashion! How exciting! Yeah, sure, love it. Really.

Anyway, we always try out the new cool restaurant in town. The last time we met up was for a birthday and we headed to Market Cafe at Shangra La - by the way, the food was just okay. But going back to the title of my post, Keeping up with the Jonesesses, this group are all fashionistas! I try my best to look hip and fashionable but I always end up feeling like a schlump next to these perfectly coiffed, perfectly styled, love your shoes, where did you get that hangbag?perfect people!!!!. I don't know about you, but for me, by the end of the work day my makeup has disintegrated, my clothes are wrinkled, I'm tired and I meet up with these peeps who look like they just walked out of the salon!

I can't keep up! I make an okay salary, but I can't afford to shop at Holts or wear the designer clothes! I buy my shoes on sale, or at A&N boutique; I shop at Suzy Shier, pick up bargains where I can find them and yes, even pieces of the Superstore's Joe Fresh line , which by the way has some great stuff, has found it's way into my closet. I have to seriously think about what I'm going to wear to these dinners, and even then, I still look and feel like a badunkadink, as Oprah calls it (women who have basically given up - that's me!). As I was speaking to one Ms Jones today, she has to plan out her outfit for these pressure cooker dinners as well. I was like, what, you too?? You mean everyone is doing their best to look hot and fabulous every time we meet??? No wonder. How would we look if we didn't put that extra 20, or 50% effort in?? I'm sure we'd all still look fab.

Thank god it's only every few months! I know none of us really care what each other is wearing, well we do, but we also just appreciate the effort put in and expect and assume that each walks around looking fab everyday anyways. We are all fashion people after all, well some of us are still hanging in there for some crazy reason. I just assume the peeps look great all the time, and geez, why don't I try harder, cuz, it's better to look good than to feel good, isn't it?? I guess I can thank them for that one day every few months when I make that extra effort to look half way decent and presentable. My daily work uniform of black top and jeans can transition nicely for that, oh- my- god-what-am-i-going-to-wear to this dinner tonight?? night. Just as long as I put that little bit of effort in and make sure I have on those killer shoes (from A&N boutique) , the to die for handbag (knock off) , the wheredidyouget that trendy jacket (superstore!) , the perfect statement jewelry (suzy shier) freshly applied makeup (shopping channel purchases) and that just came from the salon hair ( cut crooked, dammit!) to go with my I just rolled out of bed ( I really did just roll out of bed) and look this way naturally all the time attitude. Really. Love it.

my exciting life

Mom will go with me. I got the browsing, eating and spending money on useless stuff gene from my mom. The Chinatown Night Market officially opened last weekend! As my first sentence states, my mom always enjoys going so needing to get out of the house, I didn't have to twist her arm to join me. Geez, my life sounds really sad and pathetic!
But I don't care, I enjoy the nightmarket. Definitely not as big as the one that goes on in Richmond, that I'm not even sure is on anymore. With the beautiful weather there were lots of people out. Plus I like the idea of supporting Chinatown, which in the past few decades has really declined in the amount of visitors and shoppers alike.

I always get the same food when I'm there, but because I'm on a crazy diet that for some reason doesn't allow fatty foods, I know, what's with that, I had to limit my usual buys - : ( . This year there so far, there has been no sign of the eggball nazi. Eggballs are waffle like balls that are sugary sweet and addictive, thus not part of my diet. (see photo above) The eggball nazi is a ,this is going to sound mean, a mousy gal with glasses who controlled her eggball stand with an icy stare and at any moment I expected her to point at me and say "NO EGGBALLS FOR YOU!". When she was there, you had to take your place in line, place your order, pay, step to the side and patiently wait for her to pass you that bag of goodies- sort of like the soup nazi from Seinfeld, except this girl was meaner! I kid, I'm sure she's a nice person, but eggball nazi doesn't seem to be there anymore! I made visits to the night market just to experience that whole laughable ordeal - but now she's gone!
Another thing I always get is bubble tea. I know, can I get any chinkier? I can use that term as I'm Chinese, but if you dare say that to me and you're not asian, I'll make you wish you hadn't. My bff was the first to tell me about bubble tea, and I remember saying to her, what the hell is that? But I like it! Basically, for those not in the know, it's iced tea with fruit flavor or slush fruit drinks that are filled with bubbles, or actually tapioca . I know, sounds barf inducing but is actually very good! The other food I usually get are curry fishballs - I know, even more barf inducing, but again, I gotta get them when I'm down there. Everything seems to be ball shaped doesn't it? But there are several stands selling all kinds of bbq this and that, dumplings and a variety of other foods on a stick. Anyhoo, I didn't pick up any of that tonight, again diet won't allow salt. I've only been on this diet for 2 days and I want out! But I'll stick with it as I need to finally say farewell to my gut!

The selection of un-necessary trinkets isn't the greatest but sometimes you can find something you really didn't know you needed- like 5 pairs of socks for $10.00, or a bra. My mom who usually manages to find something, tonight only left with a bag of fortune cookies. As she put it, the selection "was neither 3 or 4" said in cantonese which basically means there was nothing! But if you're in need of an ipod cover, some workout gear, jewellry(even the knock off chanel) , purses, puzzles, wallets, flashlights, socks or even underwear and bras - the nightmarket is the place for you!
Support the Chinatown Night Market!
open 6:30 pm - 11pm, friday, saturday, sundays til Septemeber

dwts and other ongoing nagging rants

okay, i know , get a life. but i am completely shocked by the results of dancing with the stars, the finale was tonight. Gilles Marini , didn't win! He has been consistently amazing since the start of the show, and somehow, that little pip Shawn Johnson won by a mer 1% !!!! it's all those midwest min van majority that voted for her, most likely because Gilles is a french actor, who is incredibly hot, but deserved to win!!! got to keep the mirror ball trophy in the good u s of a! don't get me wrong, she was good in that mechanical domoaritgatomrroboto kind of way, a trained monkey, but for godsakes, she wasn't better that Gilles or Melissa. what is wrong with the world???

okay, got that off my chest.

but in other news, wanted to comment on people who don't acknowledge you when you let them into traffic. to the bozo this morning , whom i could have just ignored, and blocked into the driveway you were trying to escape from - would it have been to hard to just wave, to say, hey, thanks for letting me in, i know you didn't have to so, i appreciate it! but,noooo, that would have been too difficult, right loser??!! yeah, it's people like you who make me wish my car was equipped with a rocket launcher that i could aim at your big ass head. rarely, maybe once in a blue moon does anyone these days wave, just to say, thanks! hate people.

last note - if you were coughing, for lets say going on 3 months now, wouldn't you go see a doctor, or at least take something for it?? yes, this is to you, cougher at work, shut the f--- up or i'm going to throw a box of kleenex at your head, or my bottle of hand sanitizer, or my bag of cough drops, or cram my bottle of cough syrup down your throat!! would you just stop your friggin coughing and do something about it by now!!!!!!!!!!!! geez, buddy!!! when, i ask, when will you finally realize how annoying it is and just do something about it????

regrets

I cut my hair a few months ago. It was quite long, at least 6 inches past my shoulders. I needed a change. My hairstylist cut it just to my shoulders, straight across the bottom and fairly blunt. I was happy with it. Last month i thought i would get it a little more styled, so i brought in a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow and her new do. she cut off her famous locks into an above the shoulder bob that is shorter in the back and gets longer in the front. Fairly simple, right? Well, after the first cut, i wasn't too happy because it didn't angle down to the front, meaning it wasn't longer in the front and shorter in the back. it was just straight across again but shorter. anyhoo, i couldn't understand how the concept could get lost in translation, but, hair grows right?
A few weeks back I made another visit to my stylist to get rid off all my white hair, or the skunk head as i call it , and thought, maybe if i show him another picture of Gwyneth, that shows more of the angle of her hair, he would get it right. I still had some hair to work with! But it ended up looking exactly the same. no angle. straight and shorter! i was so upset! how could you really get that wrong!! I left very unhappy but by the time i got home i felt awful for making my hair stylist feel awful. the relationship between stylist and client is a very important one and i've been seeing him for over 10 years - he knows all my secrets! So, I sent him an email apologizing and asking for a trim because the right side was visibly longer than the left! Perhaps i had my head tilted to the left when he cut it!
anyway this all leads to me getting that trim last night and i have to report that it is now a smidgen longer on the left than on the right, and really short! I miss my long hair! Would it be a betrayal if i went to someone else?? Would i be cheating on him? what to do!! i just want my hair to be even on the bottom, is that too much to ask?? and while i'm at, can i get my hair back??
I guess i really have no amusing way to end this sad tale of hair loss, except that it's past 1am and I came downstairs to get some scissors to attempt to trim off that smidgen and had forgot that i was recharging my nano. so i guess the hair drama served a purpose as i wont' leave the computer on all night now!
Hair Drama - it'll grow back... : (

Random Thoughts

I could barely watch game 6 of the Canucks/Chicago series. There were moments when you felt that maybe, just maybe they could do it and then those damn hawks would come back. When it was 6-5, you could just see the thread unravelling quicker than you could sneeze and that's when I turned it to Dancing with the Stars! As every Canuck fan says, there's always next year!

Moving on... bahhh! okay, I'm okay. I'll be depressed for a bit, and then move on... the Amazing Race finale was yesterday and my peeps Victor and Tammy (well they are chinese afterall and could be my peeps) won. I've seen every season and I think they're the first ever Asain team to win. Did I even spell Asian right? oh, i did the second time. I'm glad they won because I don't care if whats his name was deaf, he was a little whiner. And as for Jen and Kisha? I'm sorry, but I would have just peed in my pants! Damn, you're at the finish line! I joke with my sister and tell her that that would have been her. We'd almost be at the finish line but we'd lose because we'd have to search for a toilet in the middle of nowhere. So glad mean red hair girl who expects everyone to speak "american" didn't win.

Did my first tour at the Dr. Sun Yat Sen Classical Chinese Garden this past saturday. I was in a mild state of panic for the past 3 weeks or so, waiting for the day to arrive. Of course of all days it had to be sunny which meant people would actually venture out. There were about 10-12 people on my tour, and eventually I over came my fear and managed to present a fairly decent, cohesive tour, that only about 5 people heard because I CAN'T PROJECT MY VOICE. I'm a low talker, so by the end my throat was dry. But, I had alot of positive feedback from the peeps on the tour who said I did a great job, and that they would never had guessed it was my first evah tour! okay, 2 more weeks of worrying until the next one!

After the tour on Saturday, my "be a tourist in your own city" schedule was back in business with a visit to the aquarium. This time I was determined to get a look at the sloth! And I found it, oddly nestled in some branches, sleeping of course. I could only see it's back side which was white and a bit of brown on it's head. Apparently there are 3 sloths in the amazon exhibit, who knew? and all female. Oh to be a sloth - what a life! The other "excitement" for the day was seeing a puffer fish! He and one other fish had a whole tank to themselves. Just the two of them and they didn't seem to be friends. The funny thing about Puffy was when you looked at him, he would approach the glass, and acknowledged your presence by sort of kissing the glass! My sister took some funny pictures of the guy, but unfortunately we have no idea how or where to download the pics so i can't show you how cute Puffy looked. (thanks Telus for making it so easy!) I'll see if I can steal one from the internet. Found one! Puffy looked like the guy in the picture except Puffy sort of had a slight smile on his face, as if to say, "Hi!" I found an even better picture. So cute!
Taking part in this "Check it Out, 2009 Toursim Challenge" has been great. Basically you have one month to visit various sites around town, to collect stamps. If you collect 15, you can obtain a pass that allows admission to all these participating sites for the next year. Seeing all the wonderful sights and attractions Vancouver/lower mainland has to offer, makes you really proud to live in such a beautiful city. I guess it also helps when you're volunteering at these sights like I do, to know what else is out there for all those tourists visiting so you can give honest opinions about what is worthwhile visiting. At every site I've been to, there are "others" like me trying to collect those stamps. Because it is open to I imagine all the people working in the hotels that are part of the challenge, there are thousands of people participating.

Sorry for not being too bitter today. Still feeling down about the Canucks.

hippy dippy weekend

It's sunday noon, and before I do some work - basically preparing what I'm going to say during my very first tour at my volunteer gig, ( why have I done this to myself???) , thought I'd write about my hippy dippy weekend do far.

I spent part of yesterday on a walking tour of The Drive. As I mentioned in my last blog, I believe the jackass in my story was from the drive. Fortunately, I didn't see him on the tour. The drive is Commerical Drive in Vancouver. This street runs north to south but the area of most interest is a stretch of about 2 miles, from about Venables Street up to Broadway. The tour is part of Jane's Walk - you can google this to find out more. They're basically tours of different areas around town, and are currently held simutaineously in 17 cities across the country. Their are tours covering the Strathcona area, Main Street, even Wreck Beach. The tour we went on was supposed to be a group activity for volunteers at my volunteer gig - but only 6 of of turned up! called Grandview and The Drive Tour.
Anyhoo, the tour started at the home of Bruce MacDonald a 20 year resident of the drive area. He wrote a book called Vancouver: A Visual History - I should check it out. He spoke for about a 1/2 hour about the area, the development of it and the vibe before we went and checked out some places. He pointed out some places of interest - Britannia community centre, the Havana, Joe' Cafe and a new coffee shop called the nest. I've always liked the interesting stores for novelty things, clothes and art and my favorite antique store, Antique Treasures is there. This area, I would have to say, is very laid back and has an interesting energy. The people who live there have that same vibe - the artsy, sit at a coffee shop writing your rants, filling your journal, pick up you guitar and start strumming while your faithful mutt sits by your side. You won't see anyone walking down the street in head to toe Lululemon (thank god) and anyone grocery shopping carried a re-useable bag. Let's just say, if you were idealistic and wanted to change the world- for good or bad- you would probably live in this area. Our guide, Mr. MacDonald spoke of the left wing attitude that seems to be quite pervasive in this part of town. The people who live here are against big chain type stores so any that do crop up seem to never last - except starbucks which would probably survive on the moon. Mom & pop type stores fill the streets as well as restaurants of different world foods, funky stores, and of course the coffee shops.
As I walked along with our group of about 40, I took in the vibe that the drive emits along with the faint smell of incense of petoulle oil. At the same time I thought about how different it is from my neighborhood. My neighborhood is Burnaby Heights, which is about 3-4 miles away from the drive, but what a different world. You don't get the hippy feeling when you walk down streets of Hastings with all the traffic. The heights doesn't have funky shops to peek into but i'll tell you unlike the drive it also doesn't have something else. This is going to sound mean, but you don't feel , grungy when you walk around the Heights. The drive has a grungy vibe to it. You can image most of it's residents would attend the Folk Festival down at Jericho - you know the kind. I said that was going to sound mean.
But there's nothing wrong with that if you like the birkenstock wearing, unkempt hair, mismatched/misshapen just pulled from the pile clothes, too many piercings, organic cotton tote carrying across one shoulder type look. Okay, that's only half of the people who live there. There's a great ethnic mix, and The Drive is also called little Italy because of the many Italians in the area. It's completely nuts there during the world cup.
It's interesting, I think, how parts of town are defined by what it's residents wear! You wouldn't catch that hippy look on a person walking down Robson Street. Robson types have to have there designer sunglasses on and wear head to toe designer outfits on as they stroll down the street, the soul purpose being, to be seen. You also won't see that type down on 4th avenue that has morphed from a boutique store lined street to a boutique store lined street geared toward urban moms and their babies- pass me the bucket. And of course the first evah Lululemon! Now there are tons of stores geared toward the new age yogi who has to wear the head to toe gear whilst carrying they're designer hand bag, with their yoga mat in it's designer bag slung over one shoulder, coffee cup in the other hand which is also holding onto the leash attached to the designer football dog - you just want to punt.
Oh, back to the tour. I think it could use some polish, as in perhaps smaller controlled groups and perhaps more background on the different area shops. In all honesty, it wasn't as interesting as I had hoped for.
Years ago I went on a tour of local heritage houses in Burnaby Heights. You paid a small fee, received a map, and walked around the neighborhood visiting these local amazing homes built around the turn of the century. That was interesting and I wonder if they still do this?

Hippydom continued today. I went to my yoga class this morning. Woke up 15 minutes before the class was to begin, but I made it! There was a sub teacher today one that has subbed before. I remember her as the instructor who throughout the class had to mention that she had a sore shoulder and would be unable to show some moves properly as a result - okay , we get it. But I forgot that she also talks continueosly throughout the whole class and doesn't explain her poses well. I missed my regular instructor- she is the only reason why I pay for these classes instead of going to my gym that has yoga classes there that are part of my membership.
The class is instructed in a small room at my local pool . The room is normally a pre-school room, during the week filled with snot filled drippy kids- germs!
Anyhoo - rules or just plain courtesy of a yoga class. I was a few minutes late so it was hard finding a place to lay my mat, although if anyone was at all kind, they would have made room, because there would normally be room, (well except for an oblivious regular who positions her mat so that no one can sit in front or behind her, until she is forced to move) But today, she wasn't there and no one, made any attempt to move over - that would be too difficult. It's kinda like the people who in an empty theatre, always sit next to you anyway. wtf? Last week, one of the other classmates brought her kid along, sat him in a corner that was right next to me. He tried his best to be quiet, playing with the toys in the room but wtf?
Today's instructor, besides her non stop unhelpful chatter, also chanted during the relaxation period! again, wtf? I thought at first it was a cd, but I was wrong! Normally during a class, I'm checking the clock and thinking, when will this end!! but know that once I'm done, I always feel better. This time, I was really thinking, please let this torture end. My slight dislike for the instructor felt justified when I saw the peace sign necklace hanging around her neck that went with her entire look- 2 braids on both sides of here head, and glasses - Marica or Jan Brady??

4 hours in a petoulli scented aura of a weekend is enough for one beebitter. Sorry for the crappy pictures. By the time I thought about taking some pics, I was already pass the interesting part of the drive.

jackass, evil darth lord or typical drive dude?

I was out at the ubc botanical gardens today. It was a beautiful sunny day. Because of my volunteer work, I was given a pass (check it out 2009 tourism challange) that allows me to take a guest, and get into tourist attractions around town, like the garden, for free! This particular attraction also included the Canopy Walkway tour. Totally unexpected. i had already planned a trip to the Museum of Anthropology with a friend, and since we were out that way, took advantage of the pass that I just picked up in the morning. The MOA was disappointing as most of the exhibition rooms were under renovation! To my 3 readers, or known followers, you don't live here anyway, but I recommend not visiting the MOA until they reopen the areas being renovated.
Back to the garden - that was also unimpressive, mainly because there were hardly any plants or flowers in bloom. But the canopy walk was a pleasant surprise. It's bascially these ewok like metal platforms wrapped around the trees, connected by metal and rope bridges, sort of like the capilano suspension bridge,but high up in the trees. I'm trying to figure out how to attach a photo so you can see this! Figured it out. The photo shows the bridges hanging from each platform, which encompassed the trees , approximately 35 feet up in the air, and at the highest platform, 65 feet above the forest floor. There were about 10 of us on this tour, the majority of us from the lower mainland I believe. Our guide was a young man just completing his first year of university - a good kid. The tour wasn't overwhelmingly breathtaking nor too fascinating, but being suspended above the ground in this fashion was definitely different and again, felt ewokish!
So now to the title of my post, Jackass or evil darth lord or typical drive dude They're everywhere aren't they?? The one on our tour, was a 20 something, would be tree hugging hippy, with overgrown beard, smirk-i'm-a-know-it-all jackass of a jackass, still in school with a major student loan to pay off, or would be skater boy/waiter type wearing a stupid floppy hat shaped like an elephant, yes elephant, who was accompanied by his equally annoying, please, just shut the f- up girlfriend.
Our young jedi tour guide who probably only makes minimum wage whilst still in school, who did a pretty good job on the limited material he had to work with, but was very competent nonetheless, had mentioned at one of our tree stops, that the mechanics of the bridges and platforms that snaked through the forest were designed in a way that would cause the least amount of impact or damage to the trees as possible. The mechanics of it were very interesting - nothing was actually attached to the trees, as in no nails or pegs drilled into the trunks - basically everything was suspended from the tops of the trees. Hard to explain.
Anyhoo, our snarky jackass had to comment " that the ropes were acutualy digging into the bark on this tree,see, look, can you see it here young jedi and therefore damaging the tree and didn't you young underpaid tour guide say at the last platform that this set up wouldn't harm the trees??? Yes i know you only work here but perhaps you should inform your bosses that this set up is in fact harming the tree! "
Okay, he more or less said it this way, I exaggerate only a little bit. His equally annoying girlfriend chimed in with her own, you're hurting the tree sermon, blah, blah, at which point I had to stop myself from wanting to throw both of them off the platform. Buh- bye you wanna be environmentalists! Our young tour guide was able to deflect the evil darth lords jackassnessism quite well by giving an answer that would have satisfied most people but apparently not our jackass and the jackasse's boil on his butt girlfriend. I think at this point our jackass realized that he was being a jackass and if he didn't shut up and leave our young jedi alone the other ewoks on the tour where prepared to beat his dumbass with our cameras and send him and his elephant hat head over the rails, and surprisingly both he and his boil said no more for the rest of the tour. (jedi mind trick)

I have nothing against people who want to save the trees, but really, why be a jackass about it? Did he realize that perhaps the gortex jacket he was wearing probably caused more damage to the enviroment than some of the bark on a tree being scratched by a rope at this site???? Let's look at the man made fabric that was required to make his jacket, the chemicals used to produce the nylon. What about his denim pants? What kind of washing and chemicals were used to create the look of the denim - water wasted to wash those damn pants; water that eventually ended up in the rivers of China further polluting the already polluted waterways? And what about that stupid faux fur polyester dumbass elephant hat that anyone over the age of 2 shouldn't be wearing? Where was that man made fabric hat made - perhaps in some factory in China where the workers only make $10 or less a day? Where does he live? In a house built with some, lets see, wood?? What does he use to wipe his sorry ass with everyday? He's probably a "vegetarian" who eats chicken and fish though! Hey, wake up call. You're not a vegetarian.
It's bark. On a tree. The trees aren't going to die. Are you really going to make an issue about that???? I asked questions to our young jedi tour guide, like, "how long did it take to set up this canopy walkway?" and " was this area affected by the wind storms a few years back?".
The point of all of this is, first, other than a brief moment in time when the jackasses of the world managed to disrupt an interesting tour, overall my day was good. The other point is for said jackasses - there was no need to speak to our tour guide in the tone that you spoke to him which was condescending and had an air of superiority. You can fight your battles without making it a battle. And really, this wasn't even an issue. It was like he was trying to find something, anything that would discredit this site as harmful and dangerous to the environment. If you're trying to find fault just so you can further a cause, sit down buddy! Unless you live without any modern conveniences at all, live off the land, out in the middle of no where, which buddy, i know you don't, just go back to your shack down on the drive and smoke your pot and figure out how you're going to save world as you drink your $4 latte in it's styrofoam cup. I just completely stereotyped this guy.
ubcbotanicalgarden.org/visitorinfo/greenheart-canopy-walkway.php

to xfb 300

hey, to the guy driving the lexus, license plate # XFB 300. or FXB 300- gee, thanks for signally buddy, but changing lanes in the middle of the intersection is still wrong you Fx B!!

to whomever deleted the Development file at work- thanks f@%#er for losing 2 weeks of work for me! Because i didn't work on the files for the past 2 weeks for nothing and really, i don't have any other work to do, like spring 2010 development!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and every other damn thing they dump on me.

and to all the f'ers out there who say, yeah , yeah, yeah and cut you off when you're trying to answer a question they ask you. i say, you won't know where or when, but one day you'll find yourself alone, but you won't really be alone, will you? spitzle will find you...

random thoughts

It's been a while since I've written. I actually have a few more peeps who read this blog than I thought. One of them pointed out that I hadn't written since March 23, and that I'm not sounding very bitter.

Had you known me in my youth (sigh) there was a time that i was quite bitter. My sister would argue that and I can hear her say, " was bitter?? still is!!" After a bitter breakup with "the loser", all those years ago, I plotted revenge against his sorry fat ass although I never did follow thru. Flash forward to 2009 and the fact that he is losing his hair and is probably in the process of getting divorced is enough revenge for me. Karma is great. He does have a name but I can't remember it, and "the loser" sounds so much better. The only reason I know anything about his life now is because he was at a mini high school reunion i was also at last year. Did that have a bitter tone to it?

Anyhoo, perhaps I just don't have anything to bee too bitter about?!

On to my random thoughts...

Heard a remake of the song Africa. I don't remember who sang the original but some dude decided this song was classic enough , good enough to be re-made for 21st century. Why?? I have no idea. I hated the tune back in the 80's and really, if you're going to do a remake, make it sound new. It sounds exactly the same. Just like that Yes song, Owner of a Lonely Heart. Some bozo did a remake of that song too and it sounds exactly the same as the original. If I want to hear either of those songs, which I don't, I would listen to the original crap song.

Who in their right mind would want to be Hugh Hefner's girlfriend?? The thought just made me throw up a bit in
my mouth. ewwwwwwwwwwwww! I thought of this only because I read a "news" article about one of his former young girlfriends. Apparently she had no idea a stamp was required on a letter when you mail one. Her excuse for not knowing this was that she has no life experience, well normal life experience, as she is only 23 and left home at an early age. I think I learnt that a stamp was required to mail letters when I was five. Anyway, she was Hef's girlfriend from 2004-2008, which made her 18 when she first became one of his bimbets. I don't care how rich a man is. Again, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

The other day I was driving thru the drive thru at the McDonalds on Broadway and Boundary. I was getting my morning coffee -I know, McD's for coffee?? When you're already late, and trying not to be later, and you need your daily fix of caffeine, McD's drivethru is a god send - and who are you to judge? Anyway, the point of my story is, at the entrance to said drivethru there is one of those ad boards, the type that changes the ad every 15 seconds or so. Well I actually witnessed the man changing the ads! I know what you're thinking, big whup, but I've never seen this being done before. Well maybe I have, but way back then they would paste the strips on. This time he just pulledd the strips out from the bottom of each 3 sided thingamajig. So that's how it's done, I thought! It was like that moment in the movie Amelie, where our heroine finally figures out who the bald man in all those photos was! Okay, not quite as dramatic as that but an aha moment nonetheless.

That's about it for now.

confessions of a reality tv show junky

I think I may have hit an all time low in my reality show junkyism. I thought it was bad when I watched, I think it was called paradise island or hotel?? One of my sisters told me it was good and I stupidly I listened and watched and well I’m embarrassed for myself admitting to this!
But, I really liked this show! My new fave celebrity reality show which ended this past Sunday, started off for me as a mild curiosity and became a Sunday afternoon must. What is it you ask?

CONFESSIONS OF A TEEN IDOL.

I like to spend Sunday mornings, especially if I don’t have any commitments, by sleeping in til 9am. I wake up, leisurely read the Sunday paper whilst eating some breakfast, watch sponge bob at 10am and after that flip channels until I come across something good, or weirdly interesting. This show would fall into the latter. For the past few weeks, I’ve tried to catch the 7 episodes that were made. I seemed to catch the same repeats or the shows out of sequence. So desperate was I too figure out what had happened I even googled the show to read recaps of each episode! I know what you’re thinking, this girl needs a life and why, why is she watching this show?

I have asked myself the same question. Why do I even care about these so called, teen idols??? I never liked any of them back in their hey day and 2 of them I never even heard of until I watched the show. Seriously people, have you wondered what Billy Hufsey’s been up to over the past 30 years? He was on Fame. Or Chris Atkins, he of the loin cloth and bad acting from that classic, Blue Lagoon – by bad acting I’m not only referring to Brooke Shields, who I feel over the years has proven herself as a true iconic actress. (please note the sarcasm in that sentence) I know you’ve seen Blue Lagoon – anyone over the age of 35 has seen that cinematic masterpiece! Or how about, hmm, Adrian Zmed! Missing him are we? Or how about Jamie Walters? If you ever watched the original 90210 and not that crap show that’s on now, you would remember him as Donna’s abuser! The rest of the cast is made up of a guy name David who was on Baywatch, another guy named Jeremy Jackson, also of Baywatch and some dude name Eric who was on the real world. Not only do you get all this glorious teen idoldom, the show is hosted by none other than Scott Baio and Jason Hervey- 2 forgotten teen idols that should have remained forgotten and for some reason, aren’t one of the guys in the house. I think the term “teen idol” was used rather loosely to describe some of these dudes! The concept- throw seven has beens, I mean former teen idols into a mock up house which is actually a studio warehouse, put the cameras on them and see what happens.

But as I grew more invested (many wasted Sunday afternoons) in trying to figure out what had happened to these guys, I actually grew to liking them and actually hoping for their big break to appear, and for them to re-attain the celebrity status, perhaps not in the crazy teen idol status way, they once had. I really wanted Billy to get his music back on track and on the radio and for him to get that one acting job that would be a catalyst for his comeback. For Chris, who really isn’t that much older than say Brad Pitt, to regain his leading man status. And Adrian, whom I used to think, was soooo cheesy back in his TJ Hooker/Grease 2 days, but who now seemed like such a genuinely nice family guy on the show, that if he were ever to reappear on the small screen I would watch just to support and root him on! The other guys, well, honestly, I never cared then and still don’t now. Sorry! Really I am.

What I liked about the show is the producers didn’t make the guys look stupid or exploit the whole situation like say the Surreal World did to those desperate “celebrities”. Yes, I admit I did catch a season of that show (hours of my life I will never get back!). I think Confessions of a Teen Idol was a great forum for these former idols, as they each supported each other and came to believe in themselves again. They were given daily group therapy support sessions, different career building sessions and help to get them back on track if fame and celebrity was something they wanted again. You see, back in their hey day, some of them walked away from it all, while others had no choice, as in don’t- call -us, we’ll- call- you, adios, and buh bye. In the end, they all realized that yes, they did want that taste of fame again and for those select few, I hope they regain it! Everyone, well almost everyone, deserves a second chance – just don’t screw it up or take it for granted. As we know, fame is fleeting.

I would love to see another season of this show with some other forgotten teen idols. Imagine, throwing in a room, Leif Garrett! Or how about Rex Smith?? Haha. Who’s another one, Johnny Whittaker – remember him??? (please note- I never had crushes on any of these guys- I just couldn’t think of anyone who would apply to this category,ho hasn’t already been on some “Where are they now? “ type show)
Unfortunately a lot of these former teen idols have tried reigniting their careers by showing up on some really bad, bad reality shows. Do I need to say the surreal life again, or how about celebrity wrestling, or was it boxing or figure skating? Oh, the worst, “Help, I’m a celebrity-get me out of here!” The exception would have to be Dancing with the Stars – this I have to leave for its very own entry in BeeBitter! Haha.

Anyway, re-runs of Confession of a Teen Idol are still showing on Muchmoremusic in Canada. I’m sure if you catch one episode, you may find yourself wondering like I did, why isn’t Christopher Atkins in the limelight anymore? But if you’re really smart, turn the TV off and do something else! Anything else.

funny little tune

The other day I was humming a little tune in my head. It made me smile and I thought, geez, I should make this my little life anthem. You know those days when you’re feeling down, but if you think of something happy, it changes you’re mood?
Well, this is what I’m going to do! I know, maybe I should just create my own little tune but why not steal it off the internet if you can?

Next time I get cut off by some lunatic driver- I’ll sing this tune!
Didn’t win the lottery – I’ll sing this tune!
Watching Lost driving me crazy – sing the tune!

Has beebitter turned a new leaf?? maybe! maybe not!

I had no idea Paul Williams wrote this -


("Love is All Around" by Paul Williams) - Mary Tyler Moore Show Lyrics


Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all


How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

like, huh?

There is what I would consider a dumbfounding illness that is afflicting women. It’s been happening for a few years now. No one knows where it began, how it spread, or how to eradicate it. What is this swift moving illness you ask? Well, I’ll tell you – it is an illness that effects one’s voice. It causes the bimbo voice or what I like to refer to as the question? voice? And it’s irritating as hell.

How this affliction works is it makes every sentence spoken sound like a question. Whole soliloquies can be spoken that leave the listener wondering, was that a question? Should I nod my head in agreement or disagreement? Should I respond here??

I first noticed this strange thing a few years back. I remember it clearly, or should I say I recall hearing it clearly. I was downtown purchasing a scarf. I stood at the cash desk as the clerk rang in my purchase. As she handed me my receipt and scarf, she cocked her head to one side and all wide eyed and perky said to me,
“If you need to return this (?), you have to make sure you have the receipt (?) because if you don’t (?) you won’t be able to (?)”.
Now to grasp the whole magnitude of having to hear someone speak like this, you have to read that sentence with a wide eyed expression and say it with a slight valley girl, drawn out twang. At any pause or end of your sentence your voice needs to go up an octive at the end as if you’re asking a question, but you’re not; you’re only making a statement. Call me; I’ll do an impression for you.
I so wanted to respond to her by saying,
“you mean (?) if I don’t have a receipt (?) like I can’t return it (?), oh that’s not good (?)”.
Now if you are a regular reader of Beebitter, and I know there are at least 2 of you out there, you may know that I love to mimic voices, especially strange ones. But I held my tongue, and instead stared at her with a look that must have said, did I hear what I think I just heard look on my face, at least I imagine I did. After I recovered and shook my head back to reality, I said thanks, and walked out of the store with my sister. As we were safely outside, my sister and I looked at each with the expressions that read, was that for real? We were both slightly shocked but amused and it didn’t stop me from imitating this girl for the rest of the day, and even now!

But like I said, this affliction has now spread! It seems not only to have infected a majority of women in their 20’s, but is now infecting women in their 30’s and even 40’s! You can hear it everywhere! As you walk down the street and 2 young things talking to each other on their cell phones pass you, as you sit in a restaurant, in every retail store on Robson Street! How do we stop this??? That by the way was an actual question.

Is RuPaul correct in saying the other day as he was hen pecked by the women of The View that the era of the Bimbo is gone? I would have to disagree with him and he himself would have to agree with me if he heard these women try to speak! The bimbo voice/question? voice exists in full force in these young women. I’m not necessary saying these women are bimbos, but they sound, well, stupid! But I am sure these are intelligent, well educated women who may one day, quite possibly be the future leaders, CEO’s, power women of the world! All of a sudden Sarah Palin comes to mind. yikes! And like can you imagine (?) like what a conversation (?) between 2 of these future power bitches (?) would like, sound like (?). Because, I think like (?) I would be glad (?) that when that day arrives (?) I’ll be like old (?) and my hearing will be like gone (?) cause like, I would like, kill myself (?) or pour hot oil into my eardrums!

Join me in finding a cure! Just don’t ask me any questions about how to do it (?)