High Anxiety - tale of woe

Have you ever had an anxiety or panic attack?? No? Well be glad. They can come from nowhere. You can be standing in line at Winners, and all of a sudden you feel dizzy, like you're about to faint, you need water and you have to get out of the store NOW! Or you're driving along, a route you always take, you stop at a light and BAM! all of a sudden you are overwhelmed, you feel trapped. you have to get out of the car, or damn traffic move! panic!!!!

I've realized that these little episodes i've had over the past year have now become a bit of a problem. I avoid that usual route to work, bridges are a bit of an ordeal. i avoid shopping and supermarkets. But in a few short days, I board a plane, the doors will close and I will be in that plane for 15 hours and god help me. I've been working hard for the whole past 2- 3 weeks to try to overcome this new "fear" I have developed - perhaps I should have started earlier? Forcing myself to take that route, drive over that bridge, get to that supermarket all in hopes that that panic feel will hit and i can use the methods i've read to overcome this. I've been googleing all kinds of anxiety sites, fear of flying sites, anything to help me overcome this.
This will be my third time heading to Sydney, and although i had those moments of claustrophobia, I always managed to make it through that flight. So what's my problem you ask? Well basically it's the fear that i may have one of these panic/anxiety attacks on the plane! But i can't worry about something I can't control. If you can't control it, why worry, right? Easier said then done. And there's "live in the present". sigh.

I can only hope that my mind will go "click" and that flight or fight response that seems to have been switched on high for the past 3 weeks will finally turn off!!! Bottom line, I create the anxiety and I'm the only one who can do something about it.

thanks for reading. I hope that my vacation will bring to life a more positive bee bitter, so i can post some amusing tales! thanks for all the support. the picture is of PUffy, the puffer fish from the aquarium.