20th Century Woman

I need a new cell phone. Well I really don’t need one, but I want a new one. My current one still works, but I have to recharge it every other day, and I get those looks from people that say, oh poor you, your phone is old and pathetic. Or maybe it’s me they’re looking at and thinking that about … anyway, so I’ve been looking. That’s about it. Because every time I walk into the store, my brain automatically shuts off. I have no idea what I’m looking for, I’m overwhelmed.

Scene – local cell phone shop
Me: A kind woman who wants a new cell phone, not just looking at the free phones but will actually buy one if it’s the right one.
Clerk – Know it all cell phone geek, at least he's smiling

Me: (Hopeful, cheery voice) Hi! What is the best phone you’ve got here?
Clerk: (Smiling , snarky voice) Well, there’s no such thing as the best phone.
Me: (Hopeless, sad voice) Okay, nice talking to you. Thanks….

Me exits store

I just want someone to say, well at this price range, this is currently the best selling model. It features this___ and this___ which means this___ and that____. But instead I get this:

Clerk: (Smiling with snarky voice) Can I help you?
Me: ( sad defeated voice) Yeah, I’m looking for a new phone.
Clerk: (smiling with snarky voice) What are you looking for on it?
Me: ( sad defeated voice) I just want to be able to make a call, and receive a call. Let’s start there. .
Clerk: (smiling with snarky voice) Okay! blah blah blah. blah, blah blah blah. and blah blah blah and oh, it’ll park your car for you too!
Me: ( sad defeated voice) Okay, nice talking to you. Thanks….

Me exits store

I have no idea what he’s talking about! Do I really need a built in mp3 player and download blah blah?? Do I need a phone that can park my car, prepare dinner, and wash my hair while I listen to music? Sounds good, but I miss the days when you had only one choice, but not like a communist state like way. A phone that made calls, saved messages, had a calculator. Oh, the humanity!
Do we just have too much choice these days? Or am I still living in the 20th century and need to live in the now??? I don’t know... ( sad defeated voice). I just want a new phone… : (